Here’s something I think about a lot.

Why do we spend so much time trying to create definitions and conditions for things that defy definition?

So much of our world is about creating criteria, categories, and fitting ideas, people and events into them.

In school, we’re taught imperfect rules of language, we learn vocabulary, we’re taught what fits where and ignore exceptions.

Biology has mammals, animals, organisms, ecosystems, and categories we create and learn for what?

In love, we obsess over labels.

Dating? Situationship? Friends?

And none of us really follow the rules associated with those labels anyway.

I see this all the time, two hearts, two souls join in unexpected ways, full of love and light, they

Douse it with fear, with labels like

friends

hook up

summer fling

situationship

Amplify with fear, with labels like

dating

exclusive

partners

relationship

In the former, we build barriers to keep love out, to keep feelings absent, to avoid commitment, because for some reason we believe that love

is painful, love is scary, love is foolish, love is so, so bad because love is heartbreak, it’s embarrassment, it’s shame

But, somehow, despite our efforts and boundaries love seeps in, or we seep into love, I’m not sure which

Feeling someone turns into having feelings for them

And we either run, fight, demolish our barriers, and the connection with it, bringing heartbreak

the one thing we’d fought to protect ourselves from

or

we change labels, we become ‘more,’ we become exclusive, we date, we let love in and make a home in its glow.

But the latter, the latter has labels, it has boundaries and definitions of its own.

Sometimes jealousy and fear heartbreak, fear of losing that other person, possessiveness build these boundaries more than genuine love does.

And through these boundaries, boundaries meant to keep love in and others out, seeps resentment, fear, pain, guilt, and conflict and once again we demolish the relationship and the boundaries meant to keep the love alive.

No, boundaries are meant to keep us alive, to keep us standing, to keep our hearts whole and keep pain out. We sacrifice our relationships to protect ourselves, something that sometimes must be done

while other times we find that, in sacrificing our relationships, we sacrifice ourselves too.

Either way, we’re left heartbroken.

Here’s my point.

Attempts to control, limit or define love are foolish.

Attempts to control, limit or define relationships are foolish.

Tomorrow, you may fall in love. Let yourself.

Tomorrow, you may fall out of love. Let yourself.

All the boundaries, limits and labels in the world won’t stop either from happening.

Understand the love, listen to your heart, leave space for love first.

And build the relationship from there.

Stop pretending to know the answers.

Stop pretending to know how things end.

Stop obsessing over labels, over what can or should be, and start falling in love.