I don’t expect a response to this and please don’t feel pressured to provide one. Still, as you already know, I’ve become a fan of sending long messages to people in attempts to repair things I’ve broken. Sometimes my messages fix things, other times not.

Well, I suppose that remains to be seen.

I don’t regret sending you that letter, quite the opposite. I needed you to know, as I said. I needed to relieve myself of all that inner turmoil, and thank god I did. But, in doing so, I know that I risked making things awkward and uncomfortable for you, maybe making you unwilling, guilty or scared to see me in group settings or alone.

Know this—I don’t hate you, I don’t blame you, and I never will. I sent that letter for me. I sent it because it was the last thing I ever believed I would be capable of doing.

I told you once I did something every day that terrified me. That was the final, most ultimate, thing.

When I told you that I understand deeply, I was telling the truth. Long story short, I’m looking forward to the next few weeks, whatever they look like, and I want to make clear that you should not feel awkward around me. You shouldn’t feel the need to avoid me. And you certainly should not feel guilty.

Anyways, hope you’ve had a good few weeks since I really saw you last, and I’m sure you have. It was good to see you yesterday. It’s good to be back, and I hope this makes you feel a little better about things.

Oh also, I know you were deeply affected by the letter I wrote to 🦁. I hope you’ve had a chance to look at the website, there are many many more writings where that came from.

See you soon, I’m sure,

Love.

P.S. Also, sorry for texting you that night when the Zipcar got towed. That was, shall we say, psychotic.