no, i am not completely fine.

of course i’m not.

i’m also not ‘not’ fine either.

i just am.

i am struggling with a lot. i don’t enjoy my homework all the time. i don’t sleep well every night. i cry sometimes. i’m too happy sometimes. i am wrong all the time. i scare myself sometimes. i lie to myself sometimes.

the thing i keep realizing is that i am always wrong about myself.

whenever i think something is good for me, whenever i think something is unequivocally true of me, its not.

this is true for us all.

we cannot know what is good for ourselves.

we cannot know what we need to do to heal.

we need the people in our lives to help us.

most of all, we need the courage to ask the people we love to help us.

have you ever asked me for help?

i’ve been giving it.

but have you ever asked?

and have i ever asked from you?

this is important.

you need a willing student and a willing teacher.

one party needs to want help.

the other needs to be willing to give it.

please, from now on, help me.

i need your help.

i need your love.

i cannot do this without you.

thank you for helping me.

thank you for showing me you love me every time you do.

i’m trying to help you, too. with this blog.

that is all this is.

please.

i am begging you.

let me help you.