I noticed that i do this.

I tend to fall for baby gays. Baby gays that do not notice me, do not think of me because they think that I do not think of them. Because they are more scared than I am, and I can help them to become less that way.

Why am I attracted to people like that? I want to show them the ropes. I like the ego boost that is being with them because they get to be impressed by me. But I want someone who I am impressed with. Yes, he is cute. But yes, there are others. I don’t want someone I have to work on, I don’t want a fixer upper, I want someone who knows how to love me. But I do want to try with him. I’m just worried about the damage that will cause others, I know that my letters have more of an impact than I mean them to.

I know my words do, too.

I just wish these people didn’t get to integrated into my life, I wish I had said something sooner. I feel a sense of desperation to do something. I shouldn’t. There is no reason to rush, not really. Not at all. I need to let it come, but I also need to take action.

So I will be open to everyone.

He isn’t the person I want. He is the person that will feed my ego, and that means that I am not ready to have him.

I don’t know what I want. All I am doing is thinking of past relationships and trying to create a new one with my past perceptions.

Here is my new experiment. I am forgetting everything I have ever known about love. I am assuming that everyone loves me, and they start to.

He loves me. He wants me, he wants to spend time with me.

He loves me. It’s just time to show him this is the case.

And then I can really let go.

And then I can let go, because I know it was real.

I am done chasing. I am done hunting. I will not do that. I will assume that you will come around, and you will.

Not that I need you to. There are plenty of fish in the sea. And maybe it would be even better if you stayed away.

At least for a while.