When I was in the hospital there was a lot that I was delusional about. I think about my life, and people, have, always, loved me so deeply and so easily because I’ve needed them to.

The line between arrogance and truth is thin.

There are people in my life now that refuse to let me love them. This makes me angry. It doesn’t make sense to me. I press love into them and throw it all over them and they refuse to accept the love I want to give so

desperately.

I have been told often that I cannot know what is best for other people. I’ve decided that I fundamentally disagree, at least in part. The crux of it is this. There is a right way for everyone. That right way is always love. It is fear. And that has always been, and will always be, true. This is the fundamental truth of human existence.

This is why we can’t really trust advice from anyone. It’s why none of us, ever, should take advice from each other. It’s because, when giving advice, people so often voice reasons to avoid love. They search for worldviews that are contrary to this one because love is contrary to everything we have always understood about the world. It means that all this work that we have all be doing to improve this entire time has been worthless. All of this anger and spite and vengeance and self-sabotaging disguised as compassion has all been for nothing. All we’ve ever needed to do the entire time is love.

That is how I will live my life. I will not hesitate. I will not take your advice. I will be completely stubborn about this.

If I am debating anything, I will ask what choice is most loving. If an action is loving, I will take it. I am done worrying about how people will respond, I’m done searching for the reciprocation because it always does come. I am done wondering about the difference between attachment and love. I am done holding back. I am done stopping myself from crushing on someone, on anyone. No, I don’t need to be careful. I certainly don’t need to beg anyone to make me theirs, not at all. But I will let myself fall in love. I will give compliments when they occur to me. I will apologize, I will reach out to people I have not spoken to in a while.

And that makes me powerful.

In living my life like this, I will improve the world. I will improve myself. And I will do so sustainably. And I will assure the people I love most along the way.

It is for this reason that I will do an independent concentration on love. Love is all I have ever wanted to study, all any of us have ever wanted to study. Everything else, all these other words and guises are keeping us from understanding what is real.

Nobody will be happy until they can admit that we love. May we recognize that the time to admit our love for one another is not tomorrow, it’s not when we graduate, it’s not when we retire. It is now.

This is, objectively and truthfully, the way for everyone. It always has been. It always will be. Your life would be better if you acknowledged me and processed our relationship. This is not because I am special or better than anyone else. It is not because I need validation from you. It is because this is how the world exists. It is a fundamental law of human existence. It is always true. This is the law that governs us all.

That is why I will get a tattoo that says ‘love is always worth it.’ Because it is. And the only thing holding me back is my foolish mind’s reluctance to accept this reality.

‘Risks’ are never risks at all if they are done out of love. This is the answer. This is the way. It always has been, and it always will be.

My goal in this world is to love. Everything, every bit of it, is truly that simple.

I will never apologize for living my life this way. But I will forgive you for refusing to.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and it will be full of nothing if not love.