this is a new theory, one that i am still working on.

i think that all of us need romantic love to survive.

yes, i mean that, with every fiber of my being. i think that we need other forms of love, too. i think that we need friendship, that we need self-love, whatever that means. i think we need food and water and shelter and security and safety and stability.

we’ve known for a long time that we need love to survive. babies die if they are given food and water but deprived of human affection. we are social creatures. we need to reproduce. these are fundamental facts of life, of biology, because the purpose of life is to make more life.

us humans, with our souls and minds and logic, make things more complicated. we still have this need to connect. we have the need to reproduce. we have the need to share our lives with one another, we have the need to fall in love.

think about this for a second. when your life has been at its best, what have you always wanted more of? if we have romantic partners, we want them to do better. we want to see them more often, or we want to see them less often to make room for another, better one. if we don’t have romantic partners, we want them desperately.

i want one, desperately.

think about the conversations you have with the people you love. think about the things we see online. think about the thoughts you have when you interact with other people, think about the thing that people write songs about,

think about the source.

i think it is love. and i think it is romantic love. i think we need it. maybe we don’t die without it, but maybe we will. without genuine, real, healthy romantic love, fear sets in. mental illness is more likely. we drink more, we smoke more, we avoid more, we live dangerously, and perhaps indirectly we find

we do need love to survive.

so what to do? what do i do? how do i cultivate more love? how do i find a romantic partner? do i explore? do i swipe? do i ask? do i confess? do i hunt?

or do i attract? do i wait? do i smile, do i learn how to be better at being single, do i take time for myself?

do i be vulnerable?

do i?

don’t read this as if i have the answers. i don’t. i am no expert. and i am literally 20 years old.

but if you know someone,

i guess,

let me know.

oh, and help me get the courage to be honest with him. that too.