i doubt you stabbed me on accident. 

a little meal reserved for mornings after. quick and it’d be empty. 

but you emptied me. 

my eyes my fucking eyes it was a split second as if they were searching for pain i felt the knife

it dove deep into my navel and twisted. 

it hurt me. penetrated me like you never could. 

i thought it was my crudely drawn, unlovable, misshapen hand that guided the blade into my heart. 

but no, it wasn’t me. that was you. 

until I looked down at those still blue (my favorite color) and purple (your favorite color) chipped nails, your right ring finger (my favorite finger) clenched around the handle. 

those hands aren’t mine now, they are his. they pull 

his hair. they stroke

his back. they grab and rub 

him they FUCK

him. 

you sent me spinning gliding on frictionless ice grabbed and flung spinning into eternity

but hey. at least you still care.