The universe just met me again. I qas sitting and I felt a lot of warmth and I saw the sun god or something and it started with the crackling ball of energy and it was telling me that if i feel like i dont deserve something it won’t come to me. to manifest something right i have to love myself, i have to love myself enough to truly believe that i deserve (or am worthy of) the things hat come to me. It told me to try saying like I want this, and I am worthy of it. Because I am inherently worth of all things, i am love, i am everything. i had a vision of him in sunglasses. the universe was like see it’s all good. he was like sadly hugging someone. it then shifted to that kid with the cute red cheeks that i always see everywhere, and it was like you deserve the sort of love with someone who seems so perfect that you don’t deserve it because it is what you deserve and if you believe that truly it will come to you. then there was a blue magic cabinet or something that i opened. voices said beep beep one hour and i ended at 4:55. i felt myself getting lighter. i realized i need to stop trying other people’s routines, yet again. when i look at my past i need to stop seeing it as mistakes, but crucial steps that are leading me to the best possible outcome. thank the universe for the mistakes you have made. there was fire on my skin, my arms and body. i realized at one point that i had control, that when i went into this realm i can create things simply because i bring them to mind. i pictured something that i held and oculd dematerialize and then rematerialize. 

basically, i need to know that i am worthy. then i need to let go and trust the universe.