The most relevant example is the break up. The mistakes I made were:

I never explained why, which causes him more pain than honesty would have
I ignored him
I never set boundaries
I made promises that i knew I could not keep
I ignored, avoided, and buried the guilt
I was unkind and unempathetic
I downplayed the magnitude of the relationship
I undermined and lied to myself
I neglected myself

It’s funny, my actions to please him and protect myself were detrimental to us both.

I do have a pattern of such behavior. What do all these behaviors have in common? I wanted to ignore, deny, prevent the presence of pain. And I felt it all anyway.

But pain motivates positive change. I should live my life loving pain, using it as the tool that it is to catalyze growth.