It’s like I’ve been blasted into the heavens in those moments with him. Nothing else matters. I don’t feel like I’m in my body in some ways. 

It’s an ultimate presence. It’s a complete state of mind. Like when he’s there I start living differently. I can exhale, completely. I can just be, no fear of judgment, a physical manifestation of the solace and peace I’ve so very effortfully cultivated within myself. 

It surprises me that it doesn’t feel all that surprising. It’s alignment. 

It’s the merge. And I open myself to every bit of pain it brings.