this is one of those writings when i just start typing and i see what happens.

yes, i am in class. yes, the board is covered in symbols and letters and equations i don’t understand because i missed five class periods because i chose to go to a mental hospital.

today, here is how i feel.

i am still weirdly, remarkably productive. this morning i exercised, posted everything i have ever written online, sent more texts than i can count, did my math homework from last week,

told my parents i loved them

prepared my poem for that poetry reading tonight (i do need to memorize it still) posted on social media about my manic episode and trip to the hospital (impressive, courageous, a little crazy I know) and now im sitting in a lecture hall on red cushions listening to my teacher speak in code.

weird how i can feel so good, so full, so grounded

and trust me, i do

but still have no idea what’s going on around me.