Damn. You are so much worse than i thought you are. Well you are exactly what I expected and you behaved exactly how i know you would. It’s funny, how people really do say the things about other people that they are scared is true fo themselves. You say you have people in your life? Look at you! You have no friends, you are paralyzed with fear of talking to new people, you do nothing but live safely. You have no friends, especially no meaningful ones, and I am so sorry that the ones you do have are based on hate and cruelty. I am so sorry that all of you manipualte and hate each other becasue you all feel so completely awful about yourselves and you want desperately to make the rest of the world feel like that too. You sensed my power growing. You sensed the love i have for myself growing. You could tell that i didn’t need you anymore, that i was growing beyond the little limits you imposed on me to make yourself feel better. You can never understand because you are blinded by your own self righteousness and hatred. Please, go out and do whatever you want. Like I said, if you feel the need to be cruel, i understand. go at it girl. because i am love, i am power, i am loved, and i am continuing to improve despite you. By the way, I want to thank you. Maybe I was manipulative and awful in this relationship, maybe this is the lie and narrative you created to prevent yourself from breaking. I am inclined to believe the latter, but maybe that’s the narrative i am creating to protect myself. Either way, I made mistakes and I don’t need narratives to convince myself that I am worthy of love. I don’t need to convince you and people like you to love me. I say this often but I would hate you if I didn’t understand you. You do hate me (which means I’ve done something right) which means you don’t understand me. Well, that is pretty fucking clear after all of this, ya. And if you don’t understand me, you can’t appreciate me. You can’t support me, because you dont see me as I am now. You can’t love me. You can’t do anything but convince yourself that I am awful and you are perfect and wonderful and good. 

Shaky foundations are not a good place to start. 

When your house collapses, I won’t be there. But someone will. You do deserve for them to be. I’ve already forgiven you, and I have also forgiven myself. 

Best of luck weathering the storms. 

Best of luck living a life on the brink of collapse. 

May things collapse so you can live the more fulfilling, worthy, loving life that you do, truly deserve. 

You were right about one thing. I have high standards for myself. Because I know that I deserve all that is good. Thank you for recognizing that in me. I hope you, too, can learn to make your standards higher.